Here’s a new Sensex tracker: Sex drive

Geetanjali Jhala

MUMBAI: “My husband has become so short-tempered, now I don’t dare approach him.”
“It’s been six months since my husband held my hand or even smiled at me.”
“I’ve lost so much money in the market that sex is the last thing on my mind.”
“It’s been so long since I had sex that I’m sure I won’t be able to perform.”

These are some of the complaints that city sexologists have received in the last few months, complaints from 30-something stockbrokers who had done “phenomenally well last year when the markets were on a high”.

But the economic slump has had a direct impact on the interpersonal relationships, sex lives and marriages of people. “Since January when the Sensex started falling — particularly in the last two months — the number of such complaints has increased four fold,” says Dr Rajan Bhonsle, one of Mumbai’s leading sexologists.

As the economy continues to do badly, affecting savings and businesses, this number is expected to rise, say doctors. Typically, patients approach a professional only when the situation worsens, so doctors feel that over the next few months, more people are going to seek help. “In my experience, I have seen people who come for counselling after the marriage has reached the stage of divorce,” says andrologist Rupin Shah, who deals with male reproductive health.

The subsequent depression and anxiety can lead to erectile dysfunction (ED) a.k.a. impotence. “Losing their life’s savings affects their self-confidence and self-esteem, naturally affecting the urge to have sex,” says Dr Prakash Kothari, sexologist. This, he says, is usually temporary — if checked on time, counselling and medication help cure the problem. “But low sexual desire, failure to perform sexually, lack of support from the partner and not checking the problem in time can lead to permanent ED.”

Like in Rahul Saxena’s (name changed) case: The 37-year-old broker had been having sleepless nights for four months.

He used to wake up at 4am to check the stock prices and foreign markets on financial news channels. Every time his wife tried talking to him, he rejected her advances, believing she wanted to have sex.

Initially she thought there was something about her that put him off because he was always “tired and irritable”, but after months of no sex and no communication, she finally pushed him to seek help.

Sure enough, he was suffering from depression and low self-esteem, causing temporary erectile dysfunction. He didn’t feel the urge to make love to his wife of three years because he was always anxious. Eventually, he started feeling guilty for rejecting her and so he withdrew completely.

Unfortunately, where monetary losses are concerned, often the spouse is not forthcoming with support because she tends to blame her husband for her losses, adds Dr Bhonsle.

When the wife makes an attempt to approach her husband, he rejects her irritably. Sometimes, this rejection from her husband can leave a deep scar on her self-esteem and marriage, say doctors.

Brokers who have played the markets for over 10 years do not feel the pinch because they’ve seen how the market fluctuates; but not those who are new to the game and whose businesses are affected.

“The anxiety affects their sleep, appetite and subsequently their sex lives. I know a number of people who are turning to yoga and other exercises to help relieve the stress, especially people who’ve lost their own hard-earned money,” says Dr Harish Shetty, psychiatrist.

Stress and anxiety caused by the recession is like any other individual economic stress, except in the number of people being affected. “I have old patients reporting back to me at a time like this. Even those who’ve managed to control their anxiety and depression for three years are now slipping,” says Dr DK Deshmukh, psychiatrist at the Lilavati hospital.

“Worrying” about the economy will only cause personal harm, say doctors. “History has shown that a recession is always temporary and that the markets will rise again,” says Dr Bhonsle. “I always tell my patients not to stress over factors that are not in their control.”
j_geetanjali@dnaindia.net